Kaiser Records - The Filthy Ape Speaks Out

That’s right folks,

You thought you could escape us by not showing up at one of our live shows, well now not even the googles are safe.

This Sunday, December 7, 2008 (for those of you who can’t make it out to the Penthouse/Rammhaus Cat O’ Nine party at the Cutting Room in NYC), we will be streaming live over the ‘net via musikville.com

To catch all of our sure to be flawless set, just sign up for a free account on www.musikville.com and tune in on Sunday night. The show starts around 9:30pm, so have the popcorn ready and get set to enjoy stereo sideburn action via the intertubes.

In other news, you may remember us announcing that we were going to take some time off to record our new album … well we accidentally booked a show for almost every weekend in December, so I guess you’ll have to come to a gig and call us a bunch of liars.

Here’s the quick rundown:
Dec 7: Penthouse/Rammhaus Cat O’ Nine party @ the Cutting Room,NYC
Dec 13: CT Roller Girls Season Beatings 3, in Woodbrige CT
Dec 21: Otto’s Shrunken Head X-Mass Party, NYC

Brother and Sisters of the Rock and Roll Persuasion:
Thee Crucials have lined up a series of From Spirits to Sleaze rock and roll shows–just for you! Will our equipment last three whole days? Will this trip precipitate another line-up change? Will time-tested chord changes be forgotten? Come out and see!

Get Frantic:

Oct 16: Charleston, SC’s The Black Cart with Motormouth Mabel and Rob the Throb
Oct 17: Chapel Hill, NC’s The Cave. This is the opening night of the Blackbeard’s Lost Weekender, also featuring Rob the Throb, our Kaiser labelmates The Butchers, and Jimmy and the Teasers. Come out and support one of our favorite acts of all time–Pinche Gringo!
Oct 18: Columbia, SC house party with Jim Stark of “Wild Wild Sound’ fame! Once again, Rob the Throb appears, along with Plundershop. Plus, Jim Stark will be spinning your favorite cuts on his Turntable of Pleasure!

This just in to Kaiser H.Q. - The Butchers Show schedule through November. Tell a friend and WIG OUT to their Kaiser Records release “Reach Out! With… The Butchers“!!

The Shadow

Thurs. Sept 18th
Guelph ,Ontario CANADA
with The Brimstones and The Von Drats

The Cadillac Lounge

Fri Sept 19th
1296 Queen St
Toronto,Ontario, CANADA
with The Brimstones and The Von Drats

The Atria

Sat Sept 20th
Oshawa, Ontario CANADA
with The Brimstones and The Von Drats

The Brighton Bar

Sat Oct 25th
121 Brighton Ave.
Long Branch NJ
with The Brimstones, The Gripweeds and VERY SPECIAL GUEST!

Black Beards Weekend @ The Cave

Fri Oct 17th
452 Franklin St
Chapple Hill, NC
with Los Rudos,Thee Crucials and Jimmy and the Teasers

717 Tattoo Halloween Party @ ABC Brewing Co.

Sat Nov 1st
50 N. Cameron St.
Harrisburg, Pa
with 8 Track Radio
(INVITE ONLY!)

The G-Man

Sat Nov 29th
Market St.
Harrisburg, Pa
with 8 Track Radio and The I Don’t Cares

More Butchers news as it breaks

Hey folks,

Just a heads-up that the old Morticians’ website (.net) is no longer. We have moved on to a new fangled .com, so update your bookmarks and point your rayguns to www.memphismorticians.com.

Welcome to Monkey Do!, the semi-regular rag devoted to Thee Crucials, Kaiser Records’ newest non-hitmakers!

For immediate release: Give Me…a Keg…of Beer, Thee Crucials’ debut full-length, is getting dolled up and ready for her cocktail-fueled cotillion. The album artwork is done, thanks to Hot Slop podcaster Rob Baker and the sleazy but generous folks at Something Weird Video. The theme is booze, breasts, and boogie men. You can file this release in your music racks or under your bed!

As for the music, mastering has just been completed and the finish product is on the way to Kaiser HQ. We’ve taking special care to see that the sound is an in-the-red, speaker-socker that’s worthy of the “rock ‘n’ roll” tag. When it’s done, you’ll have a collection of sixteen dance floor fillers, tail-shakin’ tell-offs, and lovesick laments. Outta tune croons all for you!

Here’s a sneak-peak of the sleeve notes for you Kaiser cronies:

Tattered tambourines, dismantled maracas, and knocked-out knees –all hallmarks of  Thee Crucials’ beer-soaked bonanzas– and the reasons they can’t have nice things! As fans and detractors have noted, Thee Crucials are wreckage makers, not innovators, driven by a beat that makes no apologies for how primitive it is. And now that beat is captured on Give Me…a Keg…of Beer, the group’s first longplayer. What you hold in your hands is a foolish attempt to preserve forever their loco-damaged romps and stomps. This album collects a number of crowd-favorite anti-classics, all showcasing Thee Crucials’ greasy gusto, and belongs in every music lover’s home. So get ready to go mental or get sentimental with these sixteen stereo-melting calamities.

Once Give Me…a Keg…of Beer is for sale and on the shelves, we’re comin’ your way. We got some dates lined up, but we might need YOUR help securing some venues. If you have any leads on a rock ‘n’ roll-friendly stage, send us a word @ theecrucials@gmail.com.

Oct 16–The Recovery Room, Charleston, SC

Oct 17—The Cave, Chapel Hill, NC

Oct 18–The Whig, Columbia, SC?

Dec 17—open (Help)

Dec 18—open (Help)

Dec 19—open (Help)

Dec 20–St. Louis, MO

Jan—Mexico City w/ Pinche Gringo?

Feb—Real Boss Hoss?

I’m glad we had this talk!

Shake Revard

Hello all you inter-webbers,

Us Mortician boys are here to welcome you to the newly launched Kaiser Roll blog. Here you will find the latest, greatest and most rocking recipes for you favorite baked goods.

Since we don’t know much about baking, we’ll instead give you loyal Memphis Mortician fan(s) the latest news update on NYC’s premier garage-a-billy band.

First off, we are very close to recording a new record. We have about a set’s worth of new material that is sure to up the ‘tard ante. We’ve started playing a lot of these songs out live and you can catch a taste of the new tunes here, here and here.

Second, we are playing our asses off for the next two months. Every weekend in August up until the middle of September has been booked. Our most updated listing is on our MySpace page, but for those who don’t like getting bombarded with ads and obnoxious music players here’s a quick list of where we’ll soon be:

Aug 23 - The Brighton Bar, Long Branch, NJ

Aug 29 - Coney Island Rockabilly Festival, Brooklyn @ Cha Cha’s, NY

Aug 30 - The Midnight Monster Hop @ Otto’s Shrunken Head, NYC, NY

Sep 6 - Suburbia Roller Derby Championship Bout@ Murray’s Skate Rink, Yonkers, NY

Sep 7 - 2nd Annual Brooklyn Psychobilly Luau! @ the Knitting Factory, NYC, NY

Sep 13 - Northeast Psychobilly Showdown @ The Amity Lanes, Woodbridge, CT

Sep 26 - With Joe Buck (of Hank III, ex-Shack Shaker) @ Dingbatz, Clifton, NJ

Oct 17 - TBA, Philly, PA

Oct 18 - TRASHORAMA 2008 @ Bandito’s, Richmond, VA

End transmission…

Yeah! Listen up turkeys…

You have found yer bad-self at the brand new, all Kaiser info all the time - Kaiser Records blog: “The Filthy Ape Speaks Out”!!

Here you’ll find up to the minute news on the mighty Kaiser Records and all it’s dealings in the quest to remain “Purveyors of Rock & Roll”, baby. Now the official Kaiser Records website ain’t going anywhere (you’ll still be able to purchase all of our available catalog… for cheap), and the Kaiser Records Myspace page is still a viable mode to look and listen; but, this here site is thee prime ticket to keeping tabs on the very latest in the wild world of Kaiser Records!

We still have a bunch to do in order to get this dragster tuned and ready for burnin’ rubber all over the internet. Also there is a ton of things brewing at Kaiser H.Q. that we are just itching to tell y’all about… And this is the place, daddy. So do yourself a favor and click on one of them little “chicklets” in the sidebar and subscribe yo-self to this here blog and we promise that the Filthy Ape hisself will send all the information right to you. That’s the beauty of an RSS Feed!

OK… now back to fine tuning the site. Stay tuned!!